depression or just one of those days

as i look back ova this week ive realized that its been terrible for me ..............the other day was a flat tire............then the whole incident with me "getting missing" on Wednesday.......then yesterday was just my day i decided that im done with sarah(mother)..........ok so earlier this week i had asked her about me goin to this party on Saturday and she was like yea sure why not.........so i told her i needed a shirt and i wanted to get it Wednesday and she was like no just wait until Friday..........so Friday rolled around and things changed to where i ended up getting my hair done Friday afternoon and i was suppose to go get my outfit afterwards.........so i get home and i ask Sarah wats good wit going to get the shirt and she sat there and ignored me for a while until she finally started to get up and get dressed .......after wasting about 30 mins of my shopping time she turns and says to me.......if you go you have to be back at eleven..........and i say thats only two hours.........and she sed i know u really messed up this week..........and im like last time i checked you were the one who didnt answer the fone and then wanted to fuss at me ......so after wasting another 30 mins of my shopping time and life...............we finally get up and go.....so we get to the store and i cant find n e thing to wear.........i found a shirt......but since im skinny it was hard to find sum pants to wear.........so my mother is tryin to make suggestions that sound so freaking stupid it just pisses me off more.........then we hear the announcement that says the store will be closing in 5 mins........and i still haven't found nuthing to wear so i tell her im ready to go and i put everything back on the rack an start walking out of the store............then i guess she finally realizes that im upset....(wonder wat her first clue was).....then she starts making stupid suggestions on where we should go and stuff like that......and i tell her ill go by myself tomorrow if i decide to stay the 2 hours allotted to me..........then today my aunt from Charlotte comes and when she comes to visit the only thing she knows wat to do is start BS and tell ppl wat to do..........so she gets here and her my cousin and her son and my mom decide that they are going to go out and get something to eat and go to a few stores.......my mother suggests that i go with them and they'll take me to the store to get the out from last nite.........and i disagree but in the end i end up going..........now we get to one of the stores that they wanna go to and they start making me go to different stores around there to find and out fit(cheap stores at the) instead of taking me to the store that i was at last nite.......so im more pissed than i was b4........then we finally get back home by this time i have my outfit..........and my mom is stressing about me getting a new tire for my car but my uncle has the rim so even if i go get a new one they wont be able to put it on with out the rim........later that afternoon my uncle comes over and i ask him about it........and he suggests the i just follow him to the country(where he lives) and get the rim and bring it back and get the tire b4 the party.......so i ask my mom and she says its cool......then my nosey ass aunt jump in and starts telling my uncle that im not going n e where and he needs to bring the tire here and ill get the tire next week sometime.........WTF U AINT MY DAMN MAMA WHY THE HELL ARE U TELLING ME WAT IMMA DO AND WAT IM NOT GONNA DO.........then he leaves and calls me and says that he'll bring it tomorrow and i can go get it.....and then my moms in here trying to explain to me that itll be dark b4 i get back and that i couldn't drive that far before.....1.ill definitely will be back before its dark(which it gets dark at 7) 2.ive drove there b4 and ive drove further than that b4........why couldn't i do it now...........wtf............then in the mist of all that bs.......my bf is acting weird........just being real sarcastic and stupid stuff like that......and that starts to piss me off especially wen i ask did i do something wrong or is he mad at me and he says no then turns around and says im just upset that i wnt see you today.......and he kinda made a suggestion that we go out tonite..but you know im goin to that party.......which i asked the host could he come wit me but its invitation only aka no.........i didnt tell him that tho and its all just ridiculous how ppl try to decide wats best for me like they know how i feel or wat i do on a day today basis......its really pisses me off when they decide now........one year before its time for me to go off to college .......then they decide thats wen they wanted to care about my well being or act like they understand and shit.......where the hell were they wen i was 13 walking up and dwn the streets and going missing for hours of the day....where were they wen i was layn in my room depressed about life at 15 ........where were they wen i had a concert or was being presented a plaque or any of my track meets....they were no where around so y the hell do they want to come in to my life now.......its too late for all that BS.......ive accept they fact that basically no one gives a damn about me..........damn idk y i even waste my time writing this blog.....i know good and well no one is reading it.........life is just so damn frustrating...........sometimes i just hate being alive....no im not suicidal.......but i just dont understand my purpose.......like wats my reason for living........and like i sed b4 idk whether to take this week as im just depressed about life and all my feelings thats been built up for so long have finally decide to reveal themselves........or is it just one of those bad weeks that every person has..........out