Tired of being positive

so today just wasnt the day i wanted it to be at all.....i got up at 6:30 after not having a good sleep at all, to put up flyer's for my aunts yard sale she was having at my house.....i was going to help out because i knew she would give me some needed money if i did ...but did i get a chance to help out....no...because my annoying gma wanted me to take her to the store and to get her some meds...something she could have asked me to do yesterday but she was too damn lazy and wanted to get on my fuccing nerves.....so by the time i got back there was nothin left for me to help wit....so i didnt get any money ...........then i got my report card in the mail and i already knew i didnt make A's and B's because i was struggling in two classes....so in those classes i got a c and a d and both are honors so technically they will be counted as B and C in my gpa but my mom doesnt understand that....so she basically thinks that i failed and shes probably gonna go and tell everybody so i can get talked about and treat worst than i already do ....i honestly dont think that would happen..but the devil in them will find a way.........o and dont forget how im never good enough for any damn body.......so then they decided to have a lil family outing and since im my mothers child i had to tag along too....so we go out to eat and im trying my hardest to make it back home so i can go to this banquet thing wit tyler and maybe spend some much needed time wit him afterwards but instead these ppl wouldnt let me drive so i had to wait until they finally finished eating and talking to get a ride home and even then they decided to go to my aunts house to chill.....which i wanted to go to but i would have rather spent my time wit tyler.....so i finally find someone who wasnt going with them to take me home but they take their good willed time getting me there so even if i did go wit tyler to the thingy i would have been 30 mins late.....and i hate being late.....so on my way home im telling tyler that i wont be able to get there until late and him and his smart ass sarcastic mouth wouldnt tell me whether he still wanted me to go or not....like damn is it that hard to answer a yes or no question.......and apparently he didnt pick up that i was already upset through txt which i cant blame him for...but he started making jokes and all this crap which just pissed me off more so i was just like fucc it im not going ........which was kinda a waste cus i did all that work to get home and ended up not going .....so now im stuff in the house wit nothing to do......i have no damn friends to call and express myself too .....damn i dont even have anyone that would hang out wit me.....now that i think about it ....I DONT HAVE ANYONE WHO WOULD ACTUALLY READ MY DAMN BLOG LIKE WTF...WHY DO I EVEN TRY.. ......so i guess imma take a nap or something......maybe ride around durham somewhere ......cus guess wat NO ONE WOULD GIVE A DAMN ANYWAYS.......ugh im so pissed and i hate that i am cus i was working on staying positive but i see that doesnt work for me.....wat works is me being fuccing mad at the fuccing world and hating everybody and being depressed ......pissed and depressed are the only feelings i feel...soon to be just pissed........so i will leave on this note......FUCC YOU AND GNIGHT BITCHES.
o and guess wat just happened.....so the jobs that ive been looking for all year....well one of them called me back.....so i think well maybe theres hope for my day anyways....SYKE....this mug called me to tell me that she didnt have my application at first but she found and turns out they arent hiring ......so cool....
one more thing before i go to sleep......well i went to the last person i could that i thought would listen to me talk and i could cry to.....(yea tyler left so its not him) ....so yea wen i went to this person do u know wat they sed to me......(exact words)....u fuccin serious..hell naw you been doin just fine w/o me dez past few days ..how da fuccu gon come at me like i dont care afta all da shit i done 4 you when u aint right im da one 2 make you right not ya bf...me ya fuccin ex..when yall good n havin a good time i done exsist no more....til now fucc all that shit n all yo problems im tired of not getting da credit i deserve cant believeyo muhfuccin ass came out yo mouth like that...especially wen you know ill do anything 4ya even as a ex ive done more 4 u den ya bf do now and damn near all your fam im mad as hell atchu right now...i c nothin goes accounted for now....take yo lil bitch nicca n keep that shit movin...fucc dat shit..........tell me thats not a gr8 way to end my night.......well tyler there u go....i let him go foreal this time and if thats not proof for you i dont know wat is..........damn that shit hurt for real....especially wen i had no choice in the matter of being like that......but i hope he learns that wat he did do for me did go accounted for ......i guess pain makes you stronger right......GNIGHT ...im done...about to cry myself to sleep