Hold me while i cry....love me for who i am

so for the past few days ive definitely been depressed......and its not like my usual temporary depression where im fine within an day ..........this has lasted for about 5 days with 3 of them being the worst days ive ever had.......i really dont wanna get into too much detail(still not in the mood to talk) but basically its my gma, my mom, school and just life in general...kicking my ass.....my gma basically doesnt think im good enough for her so she treats me like shit unless she wants something or needs something from me....my mom basically doesnt give a shit about me....and on the days she does want to care she over does it and it turns out bad.....school....well teachers callin my house over dumb shit.....grades arent looking too good but im working on it.......i got alot of pressure and stress pressed on me and im worried about a lot of things......friend.....i basically dont have any...cus either they on some other shit or i dropped them cus they were on some bull......but that doesnt really bother me too much......relationship.....well i pissed him off yesterday ....didnt really add to the "great mood" i was already in....i started questioning myself ....asking.....why do i even frustrate him with the bullshit that i go through.....and why is he still wit me even though he always gets the end of the stick wen it comes to my moods.....<----cant really explain it like i want ............religion? .......GOD DO YOU EVEN HEAR ME?...............and for all the other bull that doesnt fall into one of these categories.........im sad about alot of things....im angry about alot more....and im frustrated with myself and life.......life is kicking my ass str8 up......and ive reach the point where i cant take it anymore.....yesterday was the first time ive seen tears since may 2008......that means its almost been one year since ive cried.....now that tells me that ive been through some shit if i cried.....i really dont know where else to turn.......today was just really crazy because it felt like i wasnt myself ......i was a person on the outside looking in....and i basically saw a depressed teenager.....i felt only minor samples of the pain that i really feel .......i saw glimpses of the hurt and struggle ive been through......and i tasted a spoon full of happiness and love that i get from one person.........it was crazy..........i need some type of guidance and direction........out