I guess its time to Blog

Lately life has been really hard for me...i have a secret that i cant tell anyone...and it really eats me up inside..ive cried just about everynight for about 2 weeks...i already have problems wit expressing myself so having this secret isnt really helping...i know you are probably thinking well tell someone...well i really dont have anyone to tell...i have close friends that i could tell but they may tell their close friends and then they may tell their close friends and so on and so on...and before you know it your business is all around the world...and thats just something i dont wanna deal wit...i did have someone i could talk to which was my bf be he left for basic training monday...which was just another blow to the heart...he was not only my bf but he was my best friend(i know im talking like the guy is dead or something but he wont be back till june and thats along time if you ask me) he was the one person i know that wouldnt judge me but he would help me....mean he still is helping me it just has to be from a distance...today was the first time ive heard him in 4 days...its just been so hard....ive cried even more because he isnt here for me wen i need him.....i guess i could call on my friends but to be honest i really dont know if i can trust them to not judge me and to not go tell everyone....but i do need someone here for me...i just dont know who to call on right now....ugh...i cant really but it into words...i just really wish he was here to helpi me thru this.....i guess its back to laying here ...*sigh* night ppl